A Secret or Two...

Matt probably remembers how long we waited to tell our parents. I just remember being overjoyed and excited to tell everyone! I did manage to keep it a secret for quite some time from most people but it wasn't easy and I wasn't very good at it.

We had a little scare early on which is what initially motivated my to start telling a few more people. I believe in the power of prayer and we needed them desperately.

At around 5 weeks toward the end of a normal work day, I started having intense pain in my abdomen near my right pelvic bone towards my belly button. I was extremely worried that the pain might be indicative of something going wrong in our pregnancy. I called our on-call doctor who recommended we go to the ER and be checked. With me potentially having a blocked tube, I am at a higher risk of an ectopic pregnancy. I was preparing for that reality or for another miscarriage as I drove to the hospital and waited to be seen in the ER. Matt joined me as soon as he could and was there in time for the scan.

The ultrasound technician had a bit of trouble finding our baby. She may have been new at this because at one point she was confusing my bowel tissue for my ovary. They look nothing alike by the way. She finally got a shot of an empty gestational sac implanted in my uterus measuring about 4 weeks. We were relieved that we weren't having an ectopic pregnancy but still a little concerned that we were measuring a bit small for where I should have been according to my last cycle start and very concerned about the pain. They ended up admitting me to the hospital for overnight observation since I was in pain and because they wanted to make sure I wasn't bleeding internally which might be indicative of a miscarriage. My hematocrit levels the day of and the following day were both normal so I was released to go home to rest until I could be seen the following Monday.

Waiting is miserable. Seriously. I wouldn't wish that kind of uncertainty on anyone. I rested like I was supposed to which left my mind completely free to fester and brew. I was so worried that our follow up appointment would reveal another miscarriage. I tried to focus on happy thoughts and watch Disney movies, but oddly enough, we don't actually own any, so I had to make do with the Lord of the Rings extended cuts.

Monday arrived and I was up at dawn. It took me barely any time at all to get ready so I ended up waiting quite awhile before it was time to go. Matt and I arrived at the doctors office with tight nerves and anxious hearts. As I laid on the exam table, I just kept praying that everything would be ok.

My doctor came in and got right to business. At first glance, praise God, our little baby looked like it had grown. The yolk was visible but not the fetal pole. We were still measuring a little small but had grown appropriately given the passing of time. As she moved around to check the other parts, we could all see, and all exclaimed almost at once, 'Oh! there's two in there!'

Sure enough, there were not one but two gestational sacs with yolks, one measuring just a day or two smaller than the other! You can't quite make out the yolk sac of Baby A in this picture because they are in different depths inside me, but you could see it in the other pictures:

We were told that the smallness of our babies could be explained by the fact that we took Clomid which is known to delay ovulation a little bit. The difference in size of the two babies could be explained by me ovulating a second egg a day or two after the first. Still, we were scheduled for a follow up ultrasound the following week so try and find heartbeats.

At this point, we just knew that we had to turn to God and trust Him to see us safely through. We prayed and we involved more family members to pray for us. We are also extremely excited about the possibility of twins in our future!

Matt and I both handled the news without batting an eye. Twins happen to run in my family and we knew that our chances were even higher because of the Clomid. We tried to focus on all the positives instead of our worries to get us through the next week. I'm not going to deny that it was extremely tough, but it was certainly worth the wait...

xo